


The Battles We Face Alone

by malec_killed_maeve



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, Magnus is recovering, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, i don't know how to write alec, immortality is a burden, immortality issue, post-Edom, wow i'm still not good at summarizing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 01:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13400886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malec_killed_maeve/pseuds/malec_killed_maeve
Summary: Catarina and Alec are given a chance to discuss what Ragnor and Raphael's death did to Magnus. Alec gives Magnus space. Catarina knows how special Malec's love is.





	The Battles We Face Alone

The door creaks open and Catarina steps out carefully, stretching her neck. Dark circles surround her eyes but she looks relieved. It lifts a block off Alec’s chest. He stands up quickly, hurrying to the blue-skinned warlock’s side. “How is he?”

Catarina focuses her eyes on Alec, considering him. “He’s bone-tired from exhausting his magic. He needs some rest, but with proper care and monitoring, he’ll be restored to his normal health in a week,” she says. She looks worriedly at the door as if Magnus might disappear again. Alec knows how it feels.

He makes a move to step inside but a warm hand on his arm stops him. Startled, he looks down on the hand, then into her dark blue eyes.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Alec,” she starts softly.

Confused, he takes another step towards the room. Before his hand touches the doorknob, blue sparks enclose the door, locking it with magic. He pulls his hand back, surprised.

This time, Catarina’s tone was firmer. “He needs rest. Alone.”

Alec lets out a frustrated noise. After being separated from Magnus since escaping Edom, he feels a wild, almost furious need to hold his boyfriend, or even sneak a glimpse of him. He doesn’t get why Catarina is restraining him. They’ve already met and he thought he’s earned her trust already. “I don’t understand; I just need to see him,” he frantically explains, the itch of wanting to see Magnus clawing at his skin.

Catarina’s face softens. “He doesn’t want to see anyone.”

“What do you mean? It’s just me.”

Her face contorts at Alec’s pleading voice, as if it’s physically hurting her to deny him. “Let’s leave him alone for a little while,” she says tiredly.

Anger starts to bubble up in Alec’s chest. He bursts out, clenching his fists. “I don’t know what your problem is with me, Catarina, but I assure you I’m not going to harm--”

“This isn’t about you, Alec,” Catarina snaps back. She makes sure to lower her voice as to not wake Magnus, but the venom was clear. “He’s going through his own shit right now, nothing of which include you. You have to learn how to give him some space.”

“What--”

Furious eyes burn into him before Catarina ducks her head. “The burden of immortality has never been easy to bear. But with the right people, it becomes just a little bit easier to handle.”

Alec’s brows furrow in puzzlement before his heart sinks in realization. Raphael didn’t make it back with them. When Izzy had started to ask Magnus, Luke quickly led her away. Of course, of fucking course. Raphael is dead. No, killed.

“Ragnor has been a steady pillar in Magnus’s life,” Catarina continues. “Rapahel too, who he’s treated as son for as long as he’s known him. Not only does he think he’s responsible for both their deaths, he’s always thought they’d be with us until life is sucked out of this world. They’ve helped ground him for the longest time. In a span of just several months, he loses both of them.”

She pauses to wipe the tears that have gathered in her eyes. Magnus always said that it was Catarina who was closer to Ragnor. “It’s a bit of a shock for him, losing two constant people in his life, and he needs his space. Solidarity and isolation are important practices for us immortals. It helps us cope with the reality of everyone leaving us eventually. It reminds us of who we are and who we were made to be by the people we love.”

Her words open old wounds in Alec’s heart. Again, he is reminded of what Magnus had to endure all his life and what he would have to endure when Alec dies. It saddens him to be constantly reminded of his mortality but he pushes it back. He will have enough time to think about it in the future.

Catarina places a comforting hand on Alec’s shoulder. “I know how special your love is. I hear it in his voice every time he says your name. I see it in your eyes when you look at him. But this is a battle you both have to let yourselves take alone. You can talk about it after he recovers, but I think it’s best of you leave each other alone for now. I’m sure your siblings are worried about you.”

Alec looks at the bedroom door again, looking unsure. “I don’t want him to think I abandoned him,” he whispers. Catarina catches it and her face softens further.

“I’ll let him know that your siblings need your company. And I’ll call you when he wakes up,” she assures.

Alec nods before turning to pick his jacket from the couch. Catarina was right. They both needed their space, Magnus more so than him. So he’ll give it to him, even if it plants an unsettled nerve in his gut.

“Alec,” Catarina calls before he leaves. “He’ll be fine. You’ll both be.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I had a Catarina. Thank you, everyone for reading my third fic. I wish you enjoyed this. I've always wanted to write a discussion regarding Ragnor's death with Malec, but this will have to do. I'm sorry for the angst; I'm a sucker for it.


End file.
